^ This was the main line of our sermon at church last night. A normal Wednesday night service, except there was a man that’s a member at the church, that is also a pastor, that led our sermon. I’ve dove down to the hard parts of life and how it all led me to where I am now, so now I’d like to let you in on a little something that has really been taking place over the last few months. So, I have said how I was at the lowest I had ever probably been, I had almost lost our marriage I had fought so hard for, I was going through a rough patch with my best friend and neither of us could figure out why we were just not getting along and things kept happening between us, that neither of us could explain how we felt to each other, my mom had relapsed, my nanny who has been my rock, safe place, and prayer warrior my whole life had started declining with her mental health and dementia, my brothers are both far away, I lost my job, I didn’t know what to do, where to go, felt alone and helpless. I had been going to a church for a little over a year at that point and left there and started going with my cousin and Sarah, and then one Sunday morning, I just had it pop in my head and thought I’d try somewhere else and ended up at Greater Vision Church in Troy. God 150% had it all planned out for me to end up there. No doubt in my mind. I went by myself. The boys were with their dads. So, I’m here, broken, alone, on my last hope of something changing with everything I had been going through. When I tell you, Pastor Robin spoke on so many specifics of what I had been going through in my marriage, and relationships, and just life all together. Down to making an example out of how wives submit to their husbands, but husbands have to love their wives, protect them, and how when they truly do that, their wives will be fully willing to be more submissive. He said, “Come on guys, if your wife’s air goes out in her car, you get it fixed, if you can’t get it fixed, you drive that car and let her drive your car till you can get it fixed.” But, God. Lord, I had been driving around with no air in my car for about a year at this point, and I tell you, I was saying an amen in my head that whole hour and a half. I mean, it had to of been Gods answer to all of the questions, the response to the tears i cried while screaming out for him to show me what to do, and how to do it. I would have done anything, and that day, I could just hear God telling me, to just not worry, let everything go, to follow him and everything else would fall into place.

After that, I haven’t stopped going, and I haven’t stopped feeling the love, comfort, and peace that just rushed all over me that day. So, next thing to happen, we had been struggling for years, to stay caught up and to save money, I made 10 budgets every month and tried to figure it out and every time I thought I had, Wrong! My husband stayed irritable half the time because he works so, so hard, and we still would be barely scraping by it felt like. About a month into going to this church, they make an announcement that they will be doing a class called Financial Peace, with Dave Ramsey. I said, “yes please, sign us up, right now.” This is what we’ve been needing for this part of our struggle bus. Amen. It has already started helping and were now going into week 4 of it all. We are already seeing changes in each other on the money side of things and are getting things rolling to get where God has planned for us in our future. Now, to last night. So, I had gotten the, what I felt like, was a little nudge from God, about doing something like this and sharing about things I’ve been through, and how He has moved in different parts of my life, and how He got me here. To be a witness for him, and to share and with Him leading me, I can help others come to know Him, & know that they’re not alone. I had the idea pop up a few times before and would be googling how to’s and all of that fun stuff and just couldn’t really figure it out and would have a voice telling me it wouldn’t make a difference; it won’t matter and there’s no point. So, the first of January, this time I’m feeling really good about it, I got my laptop, I got this website going and started editing and editing and going around in circles, figuring it out as I’m going. I kept going for about 2 weeks, and finally had gotten my first 2 blog posts up and felt okay about them. I just had this nervy feeling that I may say something wrong or may get something wrong on how I understand something I’ve read and how it pertained to me, and how it may not be seen the way I saw it, to others who will read it. Another voice telling me, no one will even see it, you’re wasting your time, no one will care that much. I go to Sarah, and send her the link, and let her know how I’ve been working on it for a couple weeks and have gotten a little nervous about it and wanted her to look at it and read and just see what she thought. She has a very good knowledge level on the bible, and with her relationship with God and I just trust her with everything. As soon as I sent it to her, the site disappears. Whole blog page gone. Wont load for her. Wont load for me. Talk about upset and irritated. So, I contact the web host site I’m on and all of that and end up getting access back after about a day and a half of patiently waiting. I tell her its fixed! So excited, to hear what she thinks. This woman doesn’t read it for about 2 to 3 days. She stays busy, I know, and I get it, but dang I was sawing these fingernails to the bone waiting. Finally, she reads it, she loves it, says everything flows good, perfect, I can stop overthinking now. Even though, while I’m waiting on her response, I’m also praying that what I’m doing here will be pleasing to Him, and asking for him to someway show me that this is his hands leading me to do this in the first place. Still not fully feeling 100% on it, after talking to her about it, so I continue to pray, trust, and wait. By the way, the shirt I wore to church last night said, Pray, Trust, Wait. Coincidence? I think not. So, he’s preaching on all of the mountains that are referenced so many times throughout the bible, going through each mountain, and what happened on each of them, and how each one is something different that may be something that could relate to something were going through. Mt. Sinai, the one Moses goes up, at 80 years old, to see what it was that they could see from the bottom, but everyone had always been too scared climb up to go see. Moses climbs, and gets to the top, where God appears to him as a burning bush that isn’t consumed by the fire. & God tells him, “I have seen the suffering of the Israelites in the land of Egypt. I want you to lead them into a land of freedom and save them from slavery.” Moses is like, what? How? He’s doubting his ability to do what God is asking of him. But God had a plan, as he does for all of us. The pastor started going off a little from that and just seemed like it was right to me, again. He said, “You didn’t know how to do it, but you’re doing it, and God says, you’re doing it well!” My heart could have probably exploded in that moment, I felt the softest, calming, peaceful embrace around me. He then was going on and saying that there’s so many around that are starting their own ministries and ways to reach people, and that if anyone was getting discouraged to just, keep, climbing, that, mountain. Even down to saying he believes that God will promote those ministries, and they will be good, with God, it will all be good. I just had an overwhelming overflow of gratitude, confidence, no more doubt. It had completely left. & if you’ve ever carried the weight of self-doubt, it can get heavy. God has a plan though, he will give you your mission, with the way to get to, and through the challenges you’ll face to get to the top of that mountain. God is faithful, He is protecting us, He is providing for us. As long as were keeping our eyes on Him & our Savior Jesus Christ, and our hearts full of faith in Him, praying, trusting, and waiting for him to lead us, nothing can lead us astray. The enemy will try, it won’t be easy, he knows exactly how to get in my head, and to make me doubt, but when God shows up and shows out and just speaks to you, and tells you, it is good. You’ll start to see more where it is that the devil is getting to you at, and what things he’s trying to get you to believe so that you won’t follow through on the mission God has set you out to complete. He is here, He will let you know He’s here, the closer you get to Him, the more trust you put fully in Him, He will. Keep going. Don’t get discouraged or feel like it won’t be enough to please God. He loves us. He knows us. He knows what were good at, and things we enjoy. I loved essays in school, I loved writing about everything from life to little stories, just anything. Did I ever think I would be here, with 2 jobs, 3 kids, a husband, and having no extra time for anything, thinking “I don’t know how to blog? I don’t know if anyone will read it, how would it make a difference? When would I even be able to write it all?” at about 30 years old? No. I thought I had it figured out, i did hair, and had gotten to the point where my income was steadier, and it was going well, and I was confident in it, before everything fell apart all around me, but it led me here. So, here I am. God has brought me here, you may think, “yeah, okay.” But I know in my heart he is with me and leading me down this road to share this with you, and these are just a few occurrences that have happened, where God, and ONLY God, has shown me, even if it is coming from a pastor behind a pulpit not knowing a thing about me or my life, or however he gets it to me, It is in His plan, and I can’t wait to see how he uses this to bless and help others get closer with Him. That is what this life is all about. The blessings at the top of this mountain, will be worth the climb. Amen.