There have been so many times I have went into church so optimistic, excited, and just ready to get back in there. I’d go in ready to hear some good words about forgiveness, and how God loved me as I was and would just forgive me and I’d be fine and my life would just become better, without having to put any work in. Almost every time, by the end of the service I’d be left with teary, puffy eyes, feeling like my throat was closing up, feeling the guilt, and just not knowing what do to because i had just been set in my ways, how I grew up, that was just me. God loves me as I am so why would I need to change? Those feelings of conviction would have me feeling the exact opposite of how they were meant to. I would feel hopeless, shameful, not able to be what the bible would say I needed to be. I mean, who could be as perfect as Jesus?

I had it so, wrong. God does love us as we are. But when we truly understand the depth of His love, compassion, and grace for us, there’s no question as to whether we can do it or not. The only question you’re asking is, what do I need to do, starting now, to be more like him. Knowing you won’t be perfect. Knowing there is still sins in the world that you will commit without even knowing. It is praying every day, morning, night, during the day, for forgiveness. And knowing and trusting that you are forgiven. Jesus is our savior, and our teacher. No one can be as perfect as He was, but we are supposed to look at His life as a roadmap, and to go to His words when were lost. He shows us how we were intended to be when God first made the heavens and the earth. We are to strive for that way of life, no matter how hard, no matter how many times we pray about things that happen. When you have that feeling in your gut that something has been said or done, that just is hitting your heart, don’t turn away from it. Let it lead you to Gods word, go to Him in prayer to find the answers.

Our convictions do hurt, they are supposed to. To get your attention, to get you to see what had happened wasn’t okay. So you know, for the next time, how to respond & do better. It is easy to let the feeling of it turn you away from God, and feel like you’re letting him down so what is the point? Don’t let the enemy win! You can do it; you can learn from your mistakes instead of letting them hang over your head and weigh you down. You can fight the temptations to do whatever it is your feeling convicted about. You can get to the point where those temptations don’t even enter your mind. Fill your extra time with bible reading, devotion, bible journaling, K-Love Radio, whatever you need to do. This has helped me so much. I used to just sit and watch tv, and think, of everything I’ve done wrong and how I don’t deserve what God has for me, and that I was just fine with the bare minimum.

Why? Why!? Why would anyone just want to be fine with the bare minimum with a loving, caring, faithful God. When all you have to do is trust in Him, go to Him, give your all to Him, believe in his power, and mighty works. Which, once you get into it, its starts to come to you more naturally than you ever thought it could. Read your bible, and you’ll read how God loves us and sent Jesus to save us from the world, His only son, and how much it all means, and is true. Read those verses over and over again until they just pop in your head whenever you get the negative thoughts starting to bombard your mind. It is possible, With God only. You have to go to Him, seek Him, trust him. He is for us, not against us. Let his power of conviction lead you to the truth and the light, not to the darkness, and negativity.